Ezraviticus

This message was not intended for her but she smiled. I can't express it but it was destined to be read. She knows that i don't like her But she is still my mother I wanted to bring back the old times But the real me would vanish Which is healthier: a real life, or an old life? Her precious day is a nightmare to me I can't show my care for her. I don't want... I would like to. I just showed her how much i love her I hid these thoughts because for her I'm weird. A good-for-nothing creature. So I felt like an open book by that message What am I goin' to do?? Should I accept it or deny these thoughts??:(

i was intimidated by these fools. i look like an idiot to them i feel like i really do not belong now I'm asking myself, what's wrong? What's wrong with me? Or, what's with them? Why did I start this sort of competition? Maybe I should find ways to shine Maybe I should find ways to defeat them. Being envious by their excellence is my inspiration. Should I continue? Would I accept my defeat?

As I can see it, I don’t want to trust anyone anymore. They’re not worth it to be trusted. They’re the spoilers of my life. They wanted to act like they know everything about me. But they never knew me. Sometimes they tend to say I’m not real. For them I’m not… But I am. I am real I am not a fool. I have feelings. Feelings of hatred and hurt I am not the one who is so demure But I am a woman and I’m sure I am not a whore. I am not girlish but I was never a slut.