Ezraviticus

 Sitting beside each other; Talking about the things that we're not supposed to talk about. I was silently waiting for you to talk it through. There was this silent plea that was meant ti be shout. It ended with letting you go and saying goodbye to you. Will we still be together if we did not hold back? Would it matter if i followed my heart and told you to come back? But the pain we caused cannot be invalidated. Our love was kept hidden but never faded. I let go of the hand that mattered  to me and you know it's yours. Now i just stare blankly at these shores...

So long, goodnight I'll die tonight. No one understood I did all i could Sleep tight honey I'll set you free A thank you, next Though'm not an ex I only meant good I thought that I should Turned out to be expected Our hearts cannot be mended Hear my last silent cry Till I bid my last goodbye I am not worthy They're not me. I felt alone and lonely Sadder than them maybe I cannot take this inconsistency I know you're not there for me. I almost did it too But i wish i would not tell you I will continue it again So that this life will end.

Sinabi sa sarili na ito na ang huling pagkakataon Pinangako na sa huling beses na ibabasura ka ay ibabaon mo na sa limot Ang pait, sakit at mismong ang pagmamahal mo para sa kanya Ngunit hindi ka pa rin nakinig. Pilit mo pa ring binubuo ang iyong puso na pilit naman nyang sinisira sa harap mo. Iniisip na nagkataon lamang yon Maniniwala ka na ba sakin ngayon? Sabi mo wag mo na siyang hihintayin Pero ina-abangan mo pa rin ang kanyang pagsambit sa mga matatamis na salitang gusto mo lamang marinig. At pagkatapos ay di mo na maaalalang may halaga ka. Mas madalas mong malimutan ang masakit na ginawa sayo Ngunit matagal bago mo kalimutan na pwedeng hindi na maging kayo Kaya mo pa bang ipaglaban ang lahat para sa kanya; O susuko na lang at wag nang maghintay pa?

Halos hindi ko maisulat ang mga katagang ayaw kong marinig ngunit pareho nating alam. Bawat alaala mo'y patungo sa salitang Paalam. Ano na nga ba tayo? Mayroon pa nga bang tayo? Ayaw kong harapin ang bukas na wala ka. Ni hindi ko maatim na inihain mo Ang magwawakas sa pag-ibig nating ito. May nahanap ka na bang iba? Pinilit lamang natin ang pagmamahalang Binuo ulit mula sa pangalawang pagkakataon Lahat ng aking naiisip ay nauuwi na lamang Sa libu-libong di masagot na mga tanong. Ngayon ko masasabi na walang tagal ang relasyon na nabuo na lang ulit kahit malabo ang destinasyon Talikuran mo na lang ako siguro, Upang di na ako maghabol sayo. Magiging matapang na lang para sa sarili Wala na lang ibang magiging saksi. Marahil ito na ang aking huling paalam. Ipaparamdam na lang kahit hindi mo na malaman.

A soul was lost in the space between time and reality where the skies seemed to be still Tik, tok, tik, tok, it passed and a great strength is swallowing up everything. Looks like what I've been seeing seems to be all frill Where to go? What to do? What should I be even thinking? Time collapsed as soon as I discovered that the one I'm staring at was my reflection Like a lost sense of reality, space and identity Who am i? What am I? Why do i even exist? Please bring me out of my comfort zone, put me into your formation. Guide this lost soul to Your promise land of eternity. Relieve this poor being into the life she persists. A plea that no one could here in this black hole. A wish that would stop my life from floating ashore. Stop. Wait. Live. Leave. To somewhere this soul belongs...

Is this really fucking or it is the art of making love without saying it really is? Would you like to tell that it's me you really miss? And not the thoughts, the memories, the wonderful bliss. Will you save me from this dark abyss? Chaos. Heartbreaks. Unclear future rests before us. Will you be there? Or will I not? This agony is sucking all of my energy. A poem for fuck's sake is here. For our unknown breakup. For the unspoken heartbreaks. And for all of the nights you've kissed me... Without saying "i love you" to me.